Relationship

I thought I knew Him but I never get to know Him as He really is. I thought He is far away but He said He is always with me. He is with me and yet I do not allow Him to guide me. He is there in our midst but I can not sence His Presence....until I have a relationship with Him and He pour out His abundant love.
I used to be lonely but now I can sense His Presence very moment in my life. I want my old life but I hold tight to His Presence because in His Presence is where I find Peace, Joy and Rest. The world is calling but in His Presence is more joy and peace. The temptation is coming but His Presence is enough to push them away. I am not alone any longer because I am now belong to my Creator, my God and my All.

My Pakistani Friend, Deniy Kamran

One day in 2008, I asked God to bring me someone to share my M$10 and talk with me while I kneeled at the pew in St. Ignatius Church, Taman Plaza, Kelana Jaya, Petaling Jaya. That is my normal request when I have nothing to do at the church after daily evening mass. I went over to the Mother Mary's grouto and I am greet by a stranger, tall, handsome, dark skin, thick eye brow, slim with a striking kind eyes. In my heart, I ask..."Is that the person, Lord?" I felt the warm and joy filled my heart. I said, "OK".

He introduced himself as Deniy Kamran from Pakistan, a Catholic, work as a guard and a helping hand in the Church PHID activities which include distribute the food for the poor. He is very eager to bring me in to the charity works that he involved in. The next thing I know, I am helping in the kitchen and doing food distributing for the poor. In the back of my mind, asking...."he is already very poor and yet he is very eager to help others with joy." He even volenteered himself to teach the underprivilege children the computer class. He make me felt very small and ashame to be Malaysian who is full of compassion and love. He teaches me to be a better human as to use the WORD and follow by ACTION. Word without Action is dead as Action without Word is dead. Though all these years I have live by my word but to live by your word and action makes you a better man. It's a tough life but that the life I choose and I depend on God to guide me and the Holy Spirit lead the way.

Deniy's life as a guard ended when he is robbed and slashed with sharp weapon on his head and hands when he defend himself. Life is tough for him.

The question is what went wrong with this guy?

When he first being promise a job in Malaysia by his Pakistan's agent back home, his family are very happy and paid a sum of money to agent to bring Deniy and thousand more like him to Malaysia. For the people in Pakistan, Malaysia is a rich country with lots of jobs, peaceful and good and caring people.

When they arrived here in Malaysia, the picture shown to them in Pakistan is not as the real thing. The Malaysia agent fail to get them jobs as promised and also the agent kept all their travelling documents. Should poor Pakistani want their travel document then they have to pay another RM2,000 to the agent of which they do not have as their money had been given to the agent in Pakistan. So what should these people do? What Malaysian should do for our guest?
They are walking around without travelling document and they become the victim of more black hearted Malaysian.

Is his life will change in 2009?
Last week thursday, Deniy and his Pakistani Muslim were walking home when a Bad Malaysian stop them and demanded for ID but they have none. They were on their knees begging for mercy and even his friend kissed the feet of that Bad Malaysian asking for mercy and he gets no mercy but a slap. Deniy lost his wallet, handphone and watch whereas his friend lost a wallet and RM1000, the money he kept to redeem his travelling document.

Who are these Bad Malaysian?
They can be anyone of us whose hearts are filled with greed and hatred. Their mouth talked of love and compassion with beautiful words and they act as if they were the Angel from Heaven but their hearts were filled with greed and hatred. They are like vulture waiting for the weak and hopeless to die and they eat their flesh.

I am proud to be Malaysian but I am not proud of some of the action of my fellow Malaysian.

With love in my heart, Friends, Can we help and love one another without prejudice?

I BELIEVE WE CAN. We are 1malaysia.

Prayer:
"O God, I trust in you alone. Grant these Lost Malaysian forgiveness for what they have done and open their heart and fill their heart with your love. In Jesus name. Amen."

Experience the Presence of God - Lent 2009

Today is April 25, 2009, a day of gladness and joy in God. The Lent is over but the experience of the Lent remained. Experience of the pain and suffering, wilderness and doubtfulness, peace and joy and most of all the pure love of the Creator for the Creature and the respond of the Creature for his Creator whom he called Father. With a joyful heart, I praise and glorify God for His generosity in bestow His abundant graces and blessing to a sinner like me.

As always for the Lent Season, I make a request form my God, not a positive but a negative which most human will not ask. My Lent's humbled request was just to be ever in God's Presence and be given the privilege to share the suffering and pain of my Lord Jesus Christ carrying the Cross to Calvary, nailed on the cross and striked with a lance in the ribs. Beside I also planned for a forty days of fasting and prayer for my family, brothers and sisters, friends and relatives. And also for my new friends in the Facebook whom I called brothers and sisters included Papa Chedet family. My life was great for the first week with blessing and graces from God. I thought, "this is very good!" as this is my first time I make a negative petition.

The second week, I was having an appraisal and I give my appraiser his worst time as my recklessness and anger burst in me. I have no future this company if he put in record what I have said to him. In my heart, I said "God, help me I know not what I am doing." I even pray in tongues as I am desperate to undo what I have done. I am going down the drain and I knew the very 'thing' I have asked is coming.

The next day, the doctor gave me a high blood pressure medicine Micardis 40g. In my heart, I asked "is that it, God?" The warm and peace filled my heart. At the same time, my younger brother Laihi is keeping his attack on my Catholic faith and I pray for my brother well being and be touch my Spirit of God. He is a good and caring except he want to be number one. The medicine works as it stabilised my BP. I thought it's over and now I can enjoy my normal life.

It's the 20th days of my fasting and I felt grateful to God for the minor suffering and pain. On the same Saturday after work, I went to the Evening mass with my wife at Devine Mercy Church in Shah Alam. Everything seems going well during the mass but at the moment the Priest lifted up the Holy Host, the bread of life.....a shape and acute pain striked my right back below my kidney. I praise God and I cried of pain and yet I am calm and at peace inside. The mass continued and my pain increasing......and I cried like baby, "I am unworthy, Lord." The doctors at first dignosed it as kidney faillure, then gall stone and at last Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). Wonder why doctor like to guess and I became their subject of experiment. The next two weeks , I enjoy my daily suffering and pain as every night doctor gave me a jab. Now I realised of all the pain that I gone through namely internal injury of one year pain due to tournament fighting, bitten by the wild cat and rat, sting by scorpion, bees and spider, torn my tendon achilles during my badminton game were nothing compared to this pain. I thanks God for the privilege to experience this suffering and pain. Now I also admired with respect on those with prolong sickness and less hope to live a normal life because they are the real HERO and SURVIVOR. May God grant them comfort and strength in their daily life.

On Good Friday, I am back to normal and I stop my Micardis 40g.
Is that over? Not yet......family fighting at home back in Sarawak and I heard my sister Monica is crying on the phone. I called home and talk to Mother. What went wrong? Mother is very angry and she want to end everything. She told me that to take one own life is stupid and I said, "YES! very stupid!" and I told her she is too smart to be that stupid. We talked and joke over the whole thing and she want to come over to KL to rest her mind. I love her and may God be always with her. My sisters had done a very good support for my old parents but I have done none. I felt bad for that and the priest during my reconciliation....said, "BRING THEM FOR A WALK AND SPENT TIME WITH THEM."

Now is really over as Lent Season had passed and Easter Season is on and the Presence of God is more intense as ever.

My prayer: "O God, my Heavenly Father, help me to begin each day with you. Drive deep within my soul the truth that You are the most important person in my life and for that reason my first contact in the morning should be with you. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Lord Jesus, thank you for being the WAY to the One true God, the Father of All. Let us be one as I am completely yours and You are mine forever and ever. Amen.

Who are my Neighbours?

Who are my neighbours? This question make me thinking of who I am. For me, my neighbour is outside of me and have no control on me unless I allow. My neighbours are all created being and they are created for one purpose "TO LOVE GOD and LOVE ONE ANOTHER". I know I love God because I fall in love with GOD in 2003. GOD poured so much love into my soul in 2003 that I felt I am in an ocean of love. When there are so much love in you, you can't bear it but to share with you neighbour. It's overflow and I have to share with those who has no love. I still remember, I used to walk in KL lead by the spirit. We met a crippled begger who scold GOD for make him crippled after he involved in a bad road accident. The begger always said, "It's unfair! Why me?' I think GOD is very fair. As I come near to him, my heart burst with love and I hug him. That is fair.