Experience the Presence of God - Lent 2009

Today is April 25, 2009, a day of gladness and joy in God. The Lent is over but the experience of the Lent remained. Experience of the pain and suffering, wilderness and doubtfulness, peace and joy and most of all the pure love of the Creator for the Creature and the respond of the Creature for his Creator whom he called Father. With a joyful heart, I praise and glorify God for His generosity in bestow His abundant graces and blessing to a sinner like me.

As always for the Lent Season, I make a request form my God, not a positive but a negative which most human will not ask. My Lent's humbled request was just to be ever in God's Presence and be given the privilege to share the suffering and pain of my Lord Jesus Christ carrying the Cross to Calvary, nailed on the cross and striked with a lance in the ribs. Beside I also planned for a forty days of fasting and prayer for my family, brothers and sisters, friends and relatives. And also for my new friends in the Facebook whom I called brothers and sisters included Papa Chedet family. My life was great for the first week with blessing and graces from God. I thought, "this is very good!" as this is my first time I make a negative petition.

The second week, I was having an appraisal and I give my appraiser his worst time as my recklessness and anger burst in me. I have no future this company if he put in record what I have said to him. In my heart, I said "God, help me I know not what I am doing." I even pray in tongues as I am desperate to undo what I have done. I am going down the drain and I knew the very 'thing' I have asked is coming.

The next day, the doctor gave me a high blood pressure medicine Micardis 40g. In my heart, I asked "is that it, God?" The warm and peace filled my heart. At the same time, my younger brother Laihi is keeping his attack on my Catholic faith and I pray for my brother well being and be touch my Spirit of God. He is a good and caring except he want to be number one. The medicine works as it stabilised my BP. I thought it's over and now I can enjoy my normal life.

It's the 20th days of my fasting and I felt grateful to God for the minor suffering and pain. On the same Saturday after work, I went to the Evening mass with my wife at Devine Mercy Church in Shah Alam. Everything seems going well during the mass but at the moment the Priest lifted up the Holy Host, the bread of life.....a shape and acute pain striked my right back below my kidney. I praise God and I cried of pain and yet I am calm and at peace inside. The mass continued and my pain increasing......and I cried like baby, "I am unworthy, Lord." The doctors at first dignosed it as kidney faillure, then gall stone and at last Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). Wonder why doctor like to guess and I became their subject of experiment. The next two weeks , I enjoy my daily suffering and pain as every night doctor gave me a jab. Now I realised of all the pain that I gone through namely internal injury of one year pain due to tournament fighting, bitten by the wild cat and rat, sting by scorpion, bees and spider, torn my tendon achilles during my badminton game were nothing compared to this pain. I thanks God for the privilege to experience this suffering and pain. Now I also admired with respect on those with prolong sickness and less hope to live a normal life because they are the real HERO and SURVIVOR. May God grant them comfort and strength in their daily life.

On Good Friday, I am back to normal and I stop my Micardis 40g.
Is that over? Not yet......family fighting at home back in Sarawak and I heard my sister Monica is crying on the phone. I called home and talk to Mother. What went wrong? Mother is very angry and she want to end everything. She told me that to take one own life is stupid and I said, "YES! very stupid!" and I told her she is too smart to be that stupid. We talked and joke over the whole thing and she want to come over to KL to rest her mind. I love her and may God be always with her. My sisters had done a very good support for my old parents but I have done none. I felt bad for that and the priest during my reconciliation....said, "BRING THEM FOR A WALK AND SPENT TIME WITH THEM."

Now is really over as Lent Season had passed and Easter Season is on and the Presence of God is more intense as ever.

My prayer: "O God, my Heavenly Father, help me to begin each day with you. Drive deep within my soul the truth that You are the most important person in my life and for that reason my first contact in the morning should be with you. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Lord Jesus, thank you for being the WAY to the One true God, the Father of All. Let us be one as I am completely yours and You are mine forever and ever. Amen.

Who are my Neighbours?

Who are my neighbours? This question make me thinking of who I am. For me, my neighbour is outside of me and have no control on me unless I allow. My neighbours are all created being and they are created for one purpose "TO LOVE GOD and LOVE ONE ANOTHER". I know I love God because I fall in love with GOD in 2003. GOD poured so much love into my soul in 2003 that I felt I am in an ocean of love. When there are so much love in you, you can't bear it but to share with you neighbour. It's overflow and I have to share with those who has no love. I still remember, I used to walk in KL lead by the spirit. We met a crippled begger who scold GOD for make him crippled after he involved in a bad road accident. The begger always said, "It's unfair! Why me?' I think GOD is very fair. As I come near to him, my heart burst with love and I hug him. That is fair.

Life as child with my brother Laihi

Seluhi has a younger brother by the name of Laihi. He is as active as Seluhi and both of them love to play and compete with each other. They enjoy fighting with each other which lead to their seperation in the first place. Laihi with the real parent and Seluhi with the Grandpa. At a later stage, they switched place where Laihi go with the Grandpa and Seluhi with his 'uncle', his real parent. Both of them love animal and like to go hunting but Laihi is always the smarter one with new way to catch wild animal or bird.

Life with Grandpa Dit

Grandpa is a wonderful man who loves Seluhi very much and sometime he is closer to Seluhi than his real sons and daughters. Their realtionship were like father and son. They even slept on the same bed. They were always together. When the Grandpa go anywhere for sure Seluhi will be with him. If Grandpa go to the coffee shop for a drink, Seluhi will be with him. Seluhi used to grap oranges from Grandpa's chinese's friend shop Mr. Lai Peng at Sg Kut and yet nobody scold him. Normally Mr. Lai Peng will ask, "Mahu lagi kah..?"
Grandpa had a a few orchard where he planted durians and rambutan. At the orchard in Sg Kut, Seluhi catched a bird 'tekukur' with his bare hands. That was Seluhi's first experience in catching bird, just by faith and trust in the bird. At that time, Seluhi knew nothing about the spirit world and God but he knew something about bomoh because when autie sicked, they will ask for bomoh. Grandpa has no religion but he believe in God. He used to say, "Tuhan bao ulo" means God is above your head.
There was one incident where the whole village were at shock when a thunderbolt of lightning strike at Grandpa's house and left a hold in the house wall. At that moment, Grandpa was sound asleep on an iron bed while Grandma, Laihi and I were in the kitchen. When we saw the fire all around us, grandma asked Laihi and I to hide under a sarong while she go to wake up Grandpa. As Grandpa awake, he ask Grandma to fetch Laihi and I to my father's unfinished house. Grandma carried both of us. That is love. It isn't heavy at all when there is love. We only managed to meet grandpa when the storm and the rain stopped. Still wonder where Grandpa had gone when we were going away...