I am falling in love again

Friday is a day of peace and a day of letting go of our desires and wants. It’s a day of purification of our minds and bodies and be one with our real self or our inner self. 

Some even fast on Friday and others abstain from meat, just to purify themselves. Catholic observes abstain from meat for the rest of their lives on Friday for this very purpose. The choice lies on the believer though. It’s not a sin to eat meat on Friday but the profit of the action is much greater for our inner selves.

Our real selves are pure as our creator is pure and holy. It’s the world and it’s creations that defile our real selves. But we need these ‘dirt’ to make us humble to realize of who we really are. These ‘dirt’ is also known by many names and some called it as temptation or tribulation or trial. These ‘dirt’ is not sin but we are sinful when we allow ourselves to be engage in the ‘dirt’ though we know it can make us dirty. These ‘dirt’ even bring us closer to God if we know it’s profitability. It’s like a fire that burn the dirty gold ore into shining gold. There is pain and suffering involved but the benefit is a hundred fold if we are able to overcome it.

We may throw ourselves in the dirt knowingly as the dirt is already within us since we are born. We lost our rest and peace once we are born into the world. Our whole life in the world is a journey to get back the rest and peace that we lost at birth. Some called this rest as God’s Presence or Grace.

Our beloved God and Creator has these to say to us while we are playing and covering ourselves in the dirt, in Psalm 95:11,

”Therefore in my anger I swore, “They shall never enter my rest.”

And yet God is always calling us back to him day and night as the Psalmist in Psalm 95 proclaimed,

“O that today you would listen to His voice! Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah…”

God further stress on listening in the Gospel of Luke 9:35 which read,

Then from the cloud came a voice that said, “This is my Son, my Beloved; listen to him!” 

I know I complain and talk more than listening to God even to his Word.

And yet I am always longing for His Presence as that is the real rest for me. Since I was a child in my Primary school, I always keep one of my favorite beatitude close to my heart. It’s was taken from the Holy Bible, Matthew 5:8

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”

I am longing to see God and be with Him as a Father with his child. But the world teaches me that you can only see God when you die. 

Wow! That’s scared me. 

The truth is you do not have to die to be with God. God is always ‘there’. It’s me who is not ‘there’. I follow my own will not his will. My own will is always corrupted with greed and selfishness but his will is for the common good and the best for me. Why I do not follow the examples of the prophets of old and my Lord Jesus who cried to their God, “Thy will be done!”? 

God switches to channel 95.5 to talk to me and I turn to channel 88.8 because of the good number and yet I said, God never talk to me because I can not hear due to the wrong channel. I blame God though I am at fault. 

By God mercy and forgiveness, slowly I switch to the right channel through prayer and guidance of my elders in the Church.

Do I become more holy and free of trial and temptation? 

Nah. 

The journey becomes tougher and the temptation becomes more frequent and heavier. The falls become my teacher. And each fall drives me to be stronger and walk closer to God who filled my heart with his love and transform my pain and suffering into joy in midst of crisis. That is real peace, the peace within. I make full use of His gift to the Church which is the Sacrament of Reconciliation. My skull maybe thick but I believe God always forgive and full of mercy.

I pray for myself.

“Have mercy on me, O God. I am a sinner from my mother’s womb. Forgive me for my sin. I desire nothing in heaven but you. I want nothing on earth but to be with you, hear your voice and do your will. Let me speak what you want me to speak, Let me hear what you want me to hear. Let me see what you want me to see. Let I be completely yours now and forever.”

And I pray for others,

“O God, Bless those eyes that see me, Blessed those ears that hear me, Bless those hands that help me, Bless those feet that comes to me, Bless those minds that think of me, Bless those hearts that have compassion and mercy for me. Bless those whom I touch today. Llet those touch be not mine but yours. Let those touch be a touch of love. Let those touch be a touch peace. Let those be a touch of forgiveness. Let those touch be a touch of healing and unity. Let those touch bring them back to you. I believe and trust in you alone, O God. In Jesus precious name, I pray. Amen.”

And I believe in His promise in Psalm 91:14-16 (NRSV)

“Those who love me, I will deliver; I will protect those who know my name. When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue them and honor them. With long life I will satisfy them, and show them my salvation.”

My heart overflow with the sweetness of his love, my being is in the fragrant of his presence and my mouth proclaim to the world, 

“I am falling in love again!”

“I am falling in love with you, O God, the One who created me.”